No longer a caterpillar

Whoah! I've been through so much.I've blamed myself,hated myself and destroyed myself.
When really who can blame me for being soooo depressed and chaotic?No wonder i felt so black with everything ive been through.
And you know what? I've got through it,i have survived and I AM HAPPY to be alive.Its been hard still is sometimes but i wake up happy.Yep exhausted sometimes but i no longer have that feeling of blackness,that dread or despair.I no longer wake up wishing i was dead,terrified of the day ahead.I no longer take sleeping pills because the pain to be awake is too much to bare.
I AM enjoying Life! YES ME! Enjoying life!
I plan my days and am very oganised.But i have FUN! I laugh,i smile,i enjoy doing things.Instead of jst on the edge of exsistence i actually am living!
So please dont ever give up.I never thought my life would be any different than blackness.And for the first time in my life(serriously) the first time ever and can tell you.I AM HAPPY TO BE ALIVE AND I LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAYS AHEAD. if i can make it so can you!